When I first came back to my hometown Kota Kinabalu to work, I was taken aback by a question people I met would ask me. It didn’t matter if they were lawyers helping us prepare agreements, auditors helping us set up our books, suppliers or purchasers. They would ask the question.
I wasn’t a newbie in the job market so to speak, that hadn’t proven himself yet and needed endorsements from family names as to his or her ability…I had already worked for 14 years in various companies overseas and had a track record to back up my abilities and experience.
However, back in Kota Kinabalu, it seemed that whatever you did or were able to do came in second to the answer to the question they liked to ask “Who is your father?“.
At first, I would answer this question without hesitation. There didn’t seem to be any harm in answering it, I thought. Then after a while, it just got old…and at times I would refuse to give a direct answer. I mean, are you doing business with my dad or me? Then I realized that answering that question could be beneficial or otherwise. Depends on whether my Dad did anything bad to them or caused any kind of animosity to occur. So I reverted to asking my Dad about people I was about to meet. “Hi Dad, do you know so and so? Did you do anything bad to them or their company.”
Thankfully, almost all the responses I get after I tell people who my Dad is, was positive..”oh, he’s a good man..how is he now..” and so on..phew…no skeletons in that closet I guess.
Aside from establishing who you are in the community and your position in it…(so and so’s son…so he goes into this box..good businessman, outstanding citizen, trustworthy..etc), the question also indicated how new and young you are to the local business scene.
You haven’t made your name yet..that is why people ask you who you are…when they stop asking and know you for whom you are…then you’ve made it…
But recently, I discovered that this question also shows something else…a young lady handed me her card after training one day and her surname looked familiar…so I just had to ask..”who’s your dad?” ..turns out I knew her dad..I knew more about her mum and dad then her…
Aside from enabling people to peg and categorize you, from being an indication that you haven’t made it yet …the question “Who’s your dad?” is also an indication of how old you are…the next generation has entered the workforce..but you have more in common with the old guard…
I think to stay young a little while longer, i will change this question from “Who’s your Dad?” to “Who’s your Daddy?”…
